5 Tips to a Healthy Queer Relationship

5 Tips to a Healthy Queer Relationship

Photographer IG: @studio13designs
Photographer IG: @studio13designs

So lesbian and queer relationships are always seen as passionate and hot and heavy, hence why we have Uhaul syndrome in the first place, but I wanted to know how do you keep the flame going even after marriage and when the initial flames die down. So I asked my Boi Emmy from Oakland, CA, who has been married to Chloe for two years now to give us some tips on how they keep those flames going and maintain a healthy relationship. Their story is unique to me because they got married after knowing each other for only 2 months. Emmy says ” From the moment I met her, it felt like I was seeing her again. Our connection is bigger than ourselves, and she’s always been my wife. It’s as simple as that.”

Here are their five tips to a healthy relationship:
Emmy:  Stay grateful.
Never let a day go by without expressing how much you appreciate one another, and mean it.
Boi(s) :  Agreed, it is not really about the huge gestures here guys. Putting away the dishes, when both of you are tired, or just thanking her for her existence can really go a long way. Relationships can be like a job, so just a little extra encouragement and a reminder that you both love each other can keep love brewing in any relationship.

Photographer IG: @studio13designs
Photographer IG: @studio13designs
Emmy:  Listen to her.
Don’t focus on what you did, focus on how it made her feel. Clear up misunderstandings as soon as they happen, it saves a lot of time and tension.
Boi(s): This one can be difficult. As someone who is aware of their ego and wants to be understood, during a disagreement or a time I feel wronged, understanding her can be a sign of love and maturity.  You don’t always have to agree, but her perspective should be important to you. Even if the action doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, it could be the end of the world to her and at least knowing that may allow you to look at the situation differently.

Emmy: Date night
Never stop asking her out on dates-and always act like you would as if you were on a first date.
Boi(s): This advice is just fun. Call her on the phone even if she is in the some house as you and ask her to do you the pleasure of escorting you out this weekend. She will laugh and you will feel like a million bucks. Also don’t take her to the same old restaurant, spice it up. Go somewhere you have never gone before. Take some snacks and go to a look out spot. Open her car door, dress nice, and smell good. Remembering what it’s like to do something new with someone you are attracted to will keep the sparks flying in your relationship.

photography by: @studio13designs
Photography by: @studio13designs
Emmy: Support one another’s personal goals.
Be a power couple. Empower each other to succeed and pursue individual ambitions.
Boi(s): Remember you are partners now. Being in a relationship these days is not just about loving each other, it’s about conquering the world together. Freedom to pursue your goals with the support of someone who loves you unconditionally can be the power that propels you both in your individual journeys  through life and success. We recommend monthly discussions and goal settings to keep you both accountable to your dreams

Emmy: Accept love.
Don’t hold back, don’t let your past affect your present. Let her love you; and let yourself love her completely.
Boi(s): Baggage is never sexy! So be prepared to wipe the slate clean. this is not always easy. Trust is something that takes time to really embrace, but bringing your past issues and past trauma into a new relationship is a quick way to taint it. You both deserve space to love freely and once you build that space with a person it just helps secure your in a way that is not easily broken.
Thank you Emmy and Chloe for sharing your tips with us. You can find both of them on Instagram at Emmy: @palmer_fivevi  and Chloe: @chloerainwatermua
Boi Society Inc, 2016 – All Rights Reserved

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.